I got hurt, really bad, just 2 months ago and i'm rather tender-hearted right now, as a result. I'm scared of putting my heart out there and having it squished; but it looks like these situations could lead to truly beautiful relationships… if I only had the courage to step up and put it all out on the table. But it could also cost me my friendships with these guys if they say no and I can't stomach seeing them, talking to them, because of the rejection. I have a rather small support network now, as it is. I'm not sure I can afford to lose what they contribute as friends.
I can feel my need, my tendency, to be really emotionally dependent right now and intellectually, rationally, I know that's not a good thing for either of these situations. The question is - what do I do?! Do I listen to my values and be 100% open and honest, put all of my feelings for these guys and my hesitations about my emotional stability on the table, and let him and his primary partner decide what to do about it... or do I take a few (hundred) deep breaths and let things grow more organically - let them make the first move.
I feel like being bluntly honest about my feelings is risking so much - in my life, in theirs. If I can just be patient and let my relationships with each of them - guys and gals both - grow naturally, there's less risk. But it's compromising my values. I know if somebody else felt this way about me I'd rather they just tell me and give me the option of telling them how I feel and moving forward without any wonder about body language, etc.
I'd love to have a magic crystal ball that would tell me what will happen based on my actions right now.
